Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
