can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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