oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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