hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
