let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
