Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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