Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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