Its about making memories worth repressing
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
