She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
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