In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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