It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
