i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Randomize
