Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
