guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
