The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
