If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
