So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
