For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
