...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
