he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
