I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize