dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
