you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
