What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
