Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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