I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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