we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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