so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
