i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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