I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
