I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
