i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
