Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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