On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i now understand why vodka
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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