Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
