i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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