Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
