dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
