I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
