did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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