You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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