i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
