Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
