Apparently you make a good broom.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
