When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
