i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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