i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize