I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As shirtless as possible
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
