I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
