so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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