there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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