i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Randomize
