He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
